hm...

my friend jessi just found out today that she fractured her sternum kloofing--the 72ft one.

man lucky that wasn't me...but i guess she's lucky it isnt worse, not that i think what happened to her was good at all. i just walked away with a sore ass, thighs, arms, hands, feet and neck. i'd rather have all that than a fractured sternum heh
well i did what i could...i practically gave her my entire bottle of advil :]
<3 jessi

today was a more depressing day at work. most of the patients i saw today were sad cases...and there were a lot who cried. i always feel a little uncomfortable around crying ppl b/c idk if i should try and say something or just sit in silence--there's a time and place for both yea?

anyways, there was this lady who was doin real well on the ARV's...but her husband was a meth addict and didn't do anything. she was the sole source of income and he would sleep for days on meth, then wake up and be really hungry and eat everything she had shopped for, so that when she came back from work tired and hungry, he had eaten everything. there she was fighting for her survival and her meth addict husband was doing nothing in life. the doctor and her were talking in afrikaans and i guess the emotional stress broke, cuz she just started crying. sigh.

oh but that mint-stealing little girl came back to visit! that made me really happy--cute as ever, but i don't think she remembered me :(

also, dr. zeier had to give the sad news that another patient was indeed, going to die very soon...2 weeks left or so in fact. i can't imagine giving anyone news like that.
thats why i dont think i could ever be an oncologist, or open heart surgeon or whatnot. i have faith in my motor skills to perform things like that [thanks video games!] but the emotional aspect of it would be miserable. "sorry betty, but we couldn't save jim...and even though it probably wasn't my fault and there was nothing we could do i know you'll blame me forever for it but please try not to sue me." man that would blow golf balls through a garden hose. which is very very hard i would imagine. im convinced that in order to be a doctor, you need to be able to maintain some distance with ppl and have that emotional detachment so you don't completely explode. unless you don't have emotions. think about it, charles manson would've made a great doctor if not for the whole...enjoying killing people thing.

what would you do with 2 weeks left?
i guess you could go the sappy route and tell everyone you loved them blahblahblah and spend your time w/ loved ones...or you could do everything on your bucket list and go out doing things like...jumping off a bridge or a cliff haha
or maybe do a week of each.
[i would definitely do ecstasy actually, seeing as how i have one in my fridge at home...]
can i get arrested for that?

but otherwise, life is great. there's a french med student and a dutch med student in the clinic as well, doing a similar thing, except they're actually in med school in their home countries and are just here for clinical experience.

as for work itself, i finished phase I and II of my research project. dr. zeier wants to add more parameters to analyze before i leave, which is fine by me since i think i've figured out how to work statistica. but she also started me on another project involving tuberculosis. we'll see how far i get.

which brings me to my final point i guess...i've gotten pretty tight with my supervisor, the other doctors and the nurses in the clinic. and i've only got two weeks left. for god's sake, i'm going to dinner at my boss's house! it sucks i have to leave when i've finally gotten settled in not just at home, but at work.

i miss everyone back home--phoenix and pittsburgh. but i could use a month..or two..or three here. that being said, i AM excited to start school this fall in grad school--we'll see how that pans out.